VOL 28 NO. 38

 30th March, 2011

 

Notice for the meeting at Club Grove, Tuesday, 5th April, 6.00 for 6.30

Subject        MS Australia Megaswim          Speaker       Mark Sims      Chairman      Rod Greer

Assistant Cashier & Thanker        John Dodgshun     Greeter & Assistant Sergeant    Hans Franken

Birthdays & Anniversaries    8th  Martin Geerings   9th   John Calnin, Vic Harnath,  Gordon King

10th  Peter & Jo Hawthorne

 

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

 

Notice for the meeting at Club Grove, Tuesday, 12th April, 6.00 for 6.30

Subject    Mature Age Drivers information   Speaker    Ron Medson         Chairman         John Paton

Assistant Cashier & Thanker         Phil Edwards      Greeter & Assistant Sergeant     Ian Downing

Birthdays & Anniversaries   12th  John Dodgshun     18th     Geoff & Hazel Ford

 

Shotgun wedding – a case of wife or death.

 

Our last market for the season is 3rd April

 

A man needs a mistress to break the monogamy.

 

And I thought PolioPlus was a Rotary initiative!

A page 7 prominent article in last Saturday's 'Age' newspaper was headed –

'Gates calls on Australia to boost vaccination aid'.

That article, of about 500 words used a very old photo of a young-looking Bill Gates, described as the world's biggest philanthropist. It included the following paragraph;

'The former Microsoft chairman was in India this week to see the results of a massive polio eradication effort largely funded by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Rotary is not very good at promotion.

 

A hangover is a wrath of grapes.

 

Points to Ponder

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The Australian media appears to think that, at least to us, the terrible earthquake and tsunami that struck the East coast of Japan less than two weeks ago, was a seven day wonder. Last Saturday's press reported [on page 12 in the 'Age'] that the toll of dead and missing from one of the world's greatest natural disasters has reached 27,352.

•

In the same paper, and on the same page, it was reported that 70 million Indonesians survive on less than $2.50 a day. So much for our nearest neighbours! Have you ever wondered why Rotary supports, [by way of DIK and other charitable contributions], far–flung countries like Fiji and the Far East, but never, or rarely, Indonesia. We look on Bali as a tropical and luxurious paradise; is it not a paradox,  that Bali is in Indonesia?

 

Reports from last night's meeting

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The first FROGS breakfast meeting is due next Wednesday.

•

The last market for the current season is next Sunday. If you can help, phone Heather Wallace.

•

There is a conflict of duties on that Sunday because of the Community Showcase Picnic, for which a list of duties was circulated.

•

Vic Harnath reported $745 into the charities account coffers for the recent Supersprint event.

•

Judy Greer gleefully reported two girls from the Christian College prepared to attend the RYPEN camp 15-17 April. RYLA failed to attract support, but the Graham Bath Junior Community Awards will proceed due to Tony Haines enthusiasm..

•

The dinner at RC Queenscliffe for the visiting GSE team could have been better organised, according to Richard Trigg, but 12 of our mob made a success of our hosting the team on a tour of the Geelong region last Thursday. We were the recipients of 3 banners.

•

The Art Show committee seeks an entrepreneur for the November show.

•

Retiring Market Guru Geoffrey Cummins advised 76 likely site-holders for next Sunday.

•

Earthquakes in Queenstown and Japan have distracted our attention from Victorian flood problems in Marray Valley towns like Kerang, according to Rural Support rep. Margaret Campbell.

•

There were five equal winners in the first round footy tipping, each fluking 7/8.

•

John Paton's bike marathon effort produced $400 towards PolioPlus from his fellow club members and the peleton raised$17,500. India has just about eliminated Polio – just one case last year.

•

Col Brown reported a defibrillator case at 13th beach GC last weekend, but regrettably, without success.

•

Jesse Ross was our man at the summer science school. he addressed the meeting, and was an enthusiastic viewer of the power point presentation by our guest speaker.

 

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

 

Guest Speaker David Pardoe, CEO of the Australian Future Fibres Research & Innovations Centre deserved better than to be introduced 15 minutes later than his advised time.

What an absolutely fabulous  presentation that was! Funded jointly in excess of $100m by a consortium of Government, Deakin University and CSIRO, the age of carbon fibre technology is about to arrive in Geelong in a very big way. Expenditure of $50m plus on buildings and $23m on plant, it is going to become a very important development in this region. My two sons have carbon fibre bicycles, which an old bloke like me can still lift with the forefinger of one hand.

OK, it's currently a bit expensive at $225 per kilo, compared with $3.50 for steel, $9 for aluminium, and $90 for titanium, but what the hell! – it's only money!!

!0 times as strong as steel and only a third of the weight, it has potential for aircraft and vehicles, as well as bikes.

 

Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are. Blonds aren't as dumb as most folk think.

 

A lawyer boarded a plane in Hobart with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blond stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer and proceeded to stress what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behaviour.

Shortly before landing in Sydney she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, " Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in Hobart, please raise your hand"

Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them!

 

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

 

A late report, [hot off the Press]

Heather Wallace advised a book collection project at a recent meeting, and that indomitable fellow Rotarian Bill Walton, together with the owner of almost indecipherable initials, [which may NE or NG] and with what was described as 'blistering efficiency', collected and delivered approx 1400 books last Monday. The message handed to me on Tuesday may have been written in sanscrit, which is not in my repertoir! I can't even recall who handed me the scribble, but that's about what the message was..

 

John Fox

30/03/11

 

 

VOL 28 NO. 38

23rd March, 2011

 

Notice for the meeting at Club Grove, Tuesday, 29th March, 6.00 for 6.30

Subject       Australian Future Fibre Research institute.        Speaker        David Pardoe

Chairman          Geoff Brentnall

Assistant Cashier & Thanker     Geoffrey Cummins     Greeter & Assistant Sergeant   Phil Edwards

Birthdays & Anniersaries      30th  Coral Barker      2nd April      Geoffrey & Ingrid Cummins

 

Notice for the meeting at Club Grove, Tuesday, 5th April, 6.00 for 6.30

Subject        MS Australia Megaswim          Speaker       Mark Sims      Chairman      John Paton

Assistant Cashier & Thanker        John Dodgshun     Greeter & Assistant Sergeant    Hans Franken

Birthdays & Anniversaries    8th  Martin Geerings   9th   John Calnin, Vic Harnath,  Gordon King

10th  Peter & Jo Hawthorne

 

Club reports from last night

The Ballarat Conference

The 2013 District Conference Chairman Gary Golding reported that the official conference attendance in Ballarat was 416, including, at a guess, 250 for the opening session on Friday evening. Your editor suggests that out of the total of 416, perhaps 250 were Rotarians, and the rest would be spouses. Gary, a Rotary conference first-timer, reported his enthusiasm for the Friday and Saturday sessions, but not Sunday.

Another OG attendee reported privately that the mob from our club, like all Saturday evening dinner-goers, got seated by 7.00 PM, and got well fed with good food but with such slow service, that the sweets didn't arrive until 10.30, by which time, many diners had gone to bed. I like sweets, but if I had been seated for dinner over a span of 3.5 hours, I would have been less than gruntled! The 2012 District conference will be held in Waarnambool.

Our club was presented with the 'Preserve Planet Earth Award', for our association with the Surfside Primary School garden project.

Committee reports

Standard procedure for this time of the year was the shortage of reports, but Ian Downing became the exception to the rule, and advised that a delegation of four will inspect the Queenscliff Town Hall next Mondayfor the Art Show.

•

Bob Osbourne made an interesting announcement by reporting that 31 Probus Clubs have 'folded', due mainly,[in Bob's opinion] to the reluctance of Probus members to take the responsibility of office, such as President, Secretary or Treasurer. The 31 'goners' have been at least partly offset by 20 new Probus clubs.

•

Two volunteers are required for the collection of books for the district Literacy programme.

•

John Calnin seeks volunteers, at $90 pp, to provide duties at next Saturday's 'Otway Cycling Classic'.

•

'No-shows' are again becoming a problem for our club with members failing to lodge apologies for Club Grove dinner meetings. If you don't attend, and haven't apologised by noon Monday, we have to pay the $20. Frankly, I don't see the problem. If you are one of the recalcitrants, you should have to pay. No exceptions!!

•

Red Cross Calling coordinator Peter Hawthorne can't be at next Tuesday's meeting, and asks all collection material to be handed instead to Geoff Ford.

 

If you are not 50 plus, you may not understand this

The local radio station was interviewing an 85-year-old lady because she had just married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, and what it felt like to be marrying again at 85, and asked about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director", she answered.

The newsman thought that interesting and asked her about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, a preacher when in her 60's and now, in her 80's, the funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her in astonishment and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and patiently explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

 

How to become a FROG         [Friends of Rotary Ocean Grove]

RI Director Stuart Heal introduced this concept at the conference, calling on us to Connect, Share, Identify [the three pillars] He wants us to shift our focus from attendance to 'engagement'. [Personally, I think that the latter flows from the former- Service activities start with good fellowship].

 

RI took the initiative in this new programme by introducing the 2011-14 Associate Member Pilot Program,

but President Noel has prepared, introduced and now launched FROGat last night's meeting.

He is to be highly commended for the considerable time and effort he put in to an excellent power point presentation last night, and has 'shown the way' by inviting 17 prospective associate members to a 7am breakfast on Wednesday 6th April. You all know the details from that and earlier announcements, but it attracted numerous comments from our members, and few adverse comments.

It was significant, and timely, that one member suggested it will be a challenge for us to get out of our comfort zone, and another member warned of the danger of perhaps introducing an 'associate' club rather than aiming straight at full Rotary club membership from the start.

You are probably sick of my frequent editorials, but no-one writes 'letters to the editor' so I have to resort to my own views on the direction in which Rotary appears to be heading.

 

•

Is it such a terrible thing that the average age of Rotarians is increasing? During my time in Rotary, life expectancy tables have blown out by at least 15 years.

•

Reflect on our major office bearers and constant workers. Are they not all retired from their vocations? And are they not performing to expectations?

•

We seek younger members, and there is nothing wrong with that, but what is the current position with young peoples' service clubs? When I joined Rotary, membership of Apex or Jaycees was a more logical move for a 'service oriented' male in his twenties. Both those organizations have disappeared. How about the offshoots of Rotary – RYLA & RYPEN? How many clubs are there on the Bellarine peninsula?.

•

Rotary is probably too expensive, particularly for young people with family and work commitments. If Rotary doesn't cost you at least $1,500 p.a., you are not complying with minimum attendance requirements.

 

Noel's initiative is very well thought out and constructed. It deserves our support. But Rotary survives very well, utilising the skills and experience of retired business and professional men and women. By the end of your life, you may have been retired from your vocation for twenty years. By the end of this century, that gap may have become 40 years. What are today's new-borns going to do with that 40 years? If they join Rotary too soon, they may be clapped out too soon – like me!!

 

Our last market for the season is 3rd April

Gate people will be announced next week, but PP Colin Brown, PHFhas announced the following parkers to start at hourly intervals, commencing 0830 – Colin Brown, Geoff Brentnall, Hans Franken.

 

The farmer allows walkers to cross his field, free, but the bull charges

 

John Fox

23/03/11