VOL 28 NO. 38

 30th March, 2011

 

Notice for the meeting at Club Grove, Tuesday, 5th April, 6.00 for 6.30

Subject        MS Australia Megaswim          Speaker       Mark Sims      Chairman      Rod Greer

Assistant Cashier & Thanker        John Dodgshun     Greeter & Assistant Sergeant    Hans Franken

Birthdays & Anniversaries    8th  Martin Geerings   9th   John Calnin, Vic Harnath,  Gordon King

10th  Peter & Jo Hawthorne

 

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

 

Notice for the meeting at Club Grove, Tuesday, 12th April, 6.00 for 6.30

Subject    Mature Age Drivers information   Speaker    Ron Medson         Chairman         John Paton

Assistant Cashier & Thanker         Phil Edwards      Greeter & Assistant Sergeant     Ian Downing

Birthdays & Anniversaries   12th  John Dodgshun     18th     Geoff & Hazel Ford

 

Shotgun wedding – a case of wife or death.

 

Our last market for the season is 3rd April

 

A man needs a mistress to break the monogamy.

 

And I thought PolioPlus was a Rotary initiative!

A page 7 prominent article in last Saturday's 'Age' newspaper was headed –

'Gates calls on Australia to boost vaccination aid'.

That article, of about 500 words used a very old photo of a young-looking Bill Gates, described as the world's biggest philanthropist. It included the following paragraph;

'The former Microsoft chairman was in India this week to see the results of a massive polio eradication effort largely funded by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Rotary is not very good at promotion.

 

A hangover is a wrath of grapes.

 

Points to Ponder

•

The Australian media appears to think that, at least to us, the terrible earthquake and tsunami that struck the East coast of Japan less than two weeks ago, was a seven day wonder. Last Saturday's press reported [on page 12 in the 'Age'] that the toll of dead and missing from one of the world's greatest natural disasters has reached 27,352.

•

In the same paper, and on the same page, it was reported that 70 million Indonesians survive on less than $2.50 a day. So much for our nearest neighbours! Have you ever wondered why Rotary supports, [by way of DIK and other charitable contributions], far–flung countries like Fiji and the Far East, but never, or rarely, Indonesia. We look on Bali as a tropical and luxurious paradise; is it not a paradox,  that Bali is in Indonesia?

 

Reports from last night's meeting

•

The first FROGS breakfast meeting is due next Wednesday.

•

The last market for the current season is next Sunday. If you can help, phone Heather Wallace.

•

There is a conflict of duties on that Sunday because of the Community Showcase Picnic, for which a list of duties was circulated.

•

Vic Harnath reported $745 into the charities account coffers for the recent Supersprint event.

•

Judy Greer gleefully reported two girls from the Christian College prepared to attend the RYPEN camp 15-17 April. RYLA failed to attract support, but the Graham Bath Junior Community Awards will proceed due to Tony Haines enthusiasm..

•

The dinner at RC Queenscliffe for the visiting GSE team could have been better organised, according to Richard Trigg, but 12 of our mob made a success of our hosting the team on a tour of the Geelong region last Thursday. We were the recipients of 3 banners.

•

The Art Show committee seeks an entrepreneur for the November show.

•

Retiring Market Guru Geoffrey Cummins advised 76 likely site-holders for next Sunday.

•

Earthquakes in Queenstown and Japan have distracted our attention from Victorian flood problems in Marray Valley towns like Kerang, according to Rural Support rep. Margaret Campbell.

•

There were five equal winners in the first round footy tipping, each fluking 7/8.

•

John Paton's bike marathon effort produced $400 towards PolioPlus from his fellow club members and the peleton raised$17,500. India has just about eliminated Polio – just one case last year.

•

Col Brown reported a defibrillator case at 13th beach GC last weekend, but regrettably, without success.

•

Jesse Ross was our man at the summer science school. he addressed the meeting, and was an enthusiastic viewer of the power point presentation by our guest speaker.

 

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

 

Guest Speaker David Pardoe, CEO of the Australian Future Fibres Research & Innovations Centre deserved better than to be introduced 15 minutes later than his advised time.

What an absolutely fabulous  presentation that was! Funded jointly in excess of $100m by a consortium of Government, Deakin University and CSIRO, the age of carbon fibre technology is about to arrive in Geelong in a very big way. Expenditure of $50m plus on buildings and $23m on plant, it is going to become a very important development in this region. My two sons have carbon fibre bicycles, which an old bloke like me can still lift with the forefinger of one hand.

OK, it's currently a bit expensive at $225 per kilo, compared with $3.50 for steel, $9 for aluminium, and $90 for titanium, but what the hell! – it's only money!!

!0 times as strong as steel and only a third of the weight, it has potential for aircraft and vehicles, as well as bikes.

 

Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are. Blonds aren't as dumb as most folk think.

 

A lawyer boarded a plane in Hobart with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blond stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer and proceeded to stress what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behaviour.

Shortly before landing in Sydney she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, " Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in Hobart, please raise your hand"

Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them!

 

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

 

A late report, [hot off the Press]

Heather Wallace advised a book collection project at a recent meeting, and that indomitable fellow Rotarian Bill Walton, together with the owner of almost indecipherable initials, [which may NE or NG] and with what was described as 'blistering efficiency', collected and delivered approx 1400 books last Monday. The message handed to me on Tuesday may have been written in sanscrit, which is not in my repertoir! I can't even recall who handed me the scribble, but that's about what the message was..

 

John Fox

30/03/11