Bulletin of the Rotary Club of Ocean Grove Inc
Volume 24 No. 22
Notice for the meeting at the Ocean Grove Golf Club on 6th December – 6.00 for 6.30.
Our annual Elderly Citizen’s Christmas dinner. If you told JC that you would be one of the ten chauffeurs or six seteruppers and now can’t do it, contact JC, or he will set his dad on to you. JC will be chairman, and Norm Elliott will help handle the cash.
Birthdays and Anniversaries.
James and Pam Turnbull, [9th], Colin and Jan Brown, [12th], and Trevor McArdle, [14th].
I print this with great reluctance!!
I am only going to print the following because I complained at a recent meeting that I was forced into being too much of an author and not enough of an editor. So, Rod Greer took pity on me and sent in this advice from some-one’s medical adviser. It goes against everything I have been taught for about 60 years .But you can’t look a gift horse in the mouth, can you?
Health question and answer session.
Q. Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A. Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it…don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q. Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruit and vegetables?
A. You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass [green leafy vegetable]. And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products
Q. Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A. No. Not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine; that means they take water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up.
Q. How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A. Well, if you have a body and you have fat ,your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one etc.
Q. What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A. Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain…. Good!
Q. Aren’t fried foods bad for yoy?
A. YOU”RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q. Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A. Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach
Q. Is chocolate bad for me?
A. Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!
Q. Is swimming good for your figure?
A. If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me
Q. Is getting in-shape important to my life-style?
A. Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – Chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming “WOO HOO, what a ride”
Editorial comment: BULLSHIT! , or, as my wife observed, BEWDY! What’s yours?
Market Roster, Sunday 4th Dec.
Calnin, Chandler, Morphett, Hawthorn, Elliott, Tyrrell [cp8.30 to10.30] ,Franken, Steains, Geering, McArdle,Grimmett, Fox, [10.30 to 12.30]. Andrews, [main gate 8.30 to 10.30], Wyatt [10.30 to 12.30]. Elliott, Franken, Tyrrell, [signs]. George, Harris-McHale, [raffle 8.45 to 10.30], Osbourne,[ 9 to 10.30], Magee, [10.30 to 12.30]. I was going to feel sorry for Norm, with two jobs on the same day, but then I see that they have me, [the bloody bull.ed.!] on cp in two consec. months!!! The others are exec staff and should show.
November is Rotary Foundation Month [continued from last week]
Share System The SHARE system is the mechanism through which Rotary Foundation program awards are distributed worldwide. In the SHARE system, Annual Programs Fund contributions to the Foundation are transformed into Ambassadorial Scholarships, Matching Grants, Group Study Exchanges, and others.
At the end of every contribution year, each Rotary District’s contributions to the Annual Programs Fund are divided into two parts: 50% to the World Fund and 50% to the District Designated Fund.
The 50% to the World Fund pays for worldwide programs available to all Rotary districts and clubs, regardless of specific contributions. The remaining 50% is used by the District to fund the Foundation programs it chooses to participate in, such as Ambassadorial Scholarships, credit towards the sponsor portion of a Matching Grant, or an additional Group Study Exchange and is called ‘DDF’. Clubs can access these funds through the district Rotary Foundation committee.
This Day Tonight
• The WB at BH was blown away last Sunday and the final effort will probably be Sunday 11/12 at 1.
• 39/46 members gave Rod Bush their rapt attention for a first class reflection on IT things to come.
• Our Club is about to embark on an exciting liaison with the RC of Southhampton, Ontario, Canada, which will probably involve a joint project in Fiji.
• The Tuesday meeting after the Elderly Citizen’s dinner will feature outward exchange student Jan Howard, with David Tyrrell as chairman, David Cooke, ass’t Sgt/ greeter, and Geoff Chandler, ass’t cashier/ thanker.
• Rod Birrell has come up with a ripper of an idea for a fund-raiser in March or April next year. It involves a range of river craft, [kayaks, inflateables, ‘tinnies’ etc] in a fun race on the lower Barwon, with all sorts of novelty events as part of the day. Open to all types of river craft, with appropriate handicaps. Rod wants to establish a ‘steering’ [my pun, sorry] committee in the next week or so, to take the idea beyond the embryonic stage.
End bit
Criminal in the dock. “As God is my judge, I am not guilty”.
Judge: “He’s not. I am and you are”
