Bulletin of the Rotary Club of Ocean Grove Inc.
www.rotaryoceangrove.blogspot.com
Vol.26 No.47
May 19, 2009
Notice for the meeting at Club Grove [Ocean Grove Bowling Club], Tuesday 26th May, 6.00 for 6.30
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Speaker A representative from Club Grove Subject Club plans for the future Chairman Tony Haines
Attendance Officer Rod Greer Assistant Cashier & Thanker Dennis Sanders
Greeter & Assistant Sergeant James Turnbull
Your apologies must be advised to Hans by noon next Monday, 25th May
Birthdays & Anniversaries.
27th May Phil & Robyn Edwards 31st Bob Osbourne 1st June Wal Kelly
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African Politics
Robert Mugabe and his chauffeur were driving down the highway when suddenly they hit a pig crossing the road, killing it instantly. Mugabe told his driver, “Go to the farm over there and explain to the owner of the pig what happened.”
One hour later, the driver returned from the farm, his clothes all wrinkled, a bottle of wine in one hand and a cigar in the other. “What happened to you?” inquires Mugabe.
“Well,” replied the driver, “The farmer gave me the cigar, his wife the bottle of wine and their 19-year-old daughter made wild, passionate love to me!” “My God, what did you tell them?”, demanded the dictator.
The chauffeur responded, “Good evening, I am Robert Mugabe’s chauffeur, and I have just killed the pig.”
I wonder if Robert accesses our web site?
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Number Three idiot of 2008
A man, wanting to rob the Bank of Queensland, walked into a branch and wrote ‘Put all your money in this bag.’ While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might tell the police before he reached the teller’s window. So he left the bank and crossed the street to the NAB bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed the note to the teller.. She read it and surmising from his spelling errors [he didn’t have a proof-reader], that he probably wasn’t 100 cents in the dollar, told him that she couldn’t accept his stick-up note because it was written on a bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to the Bank of Queensland.
Looking somewhat defeated, the Man said “OK” and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of Queensland. Fair dinkum!
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No Craft Exhibition this year
This event, initiated by Jan Fox on behalf of our club, and set down for Sunday 7th June, has been cancelled, due to a number of adverse factors, the main one being lack of support. Despite extensive publicity commenced in February, and the organizing committee’s target of a minimum 20 firm bookings, only 12 applications have been received to this date, and all application money will now be refunded. Jan is disappointed, but not disillusioned, and she plans to request that the 2009/10 Board approve another attempt, [with an entirely new approach], next year.
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Davidson’s Grand Buffet Banquets
The Cert 111 Commercial Cookery Students plan to present a creative buffet banquet on three consecutive Friday evenings, May 22 & 29, and June 5. The cost is $35 per person, and bookings can be requested by phoning 5225 0741, Ext 4741.
A piece of interesting, but otherwise completely useless information
The world’s most expensive watch – the Vacheron Constantin Tour de L’Ile
With a ticket price of $1.7 million, the TOUR DE L’ILE is the most valuable watch in the world. It was created by Vacheron Constantin- the world’s oldest watchmaker. The piece was made to mark the watchmaker’s 250th anniversary. It took seven years to develop the watch and an additional three years to assemble it. The watch has 834 separate parts, making it the world’s most complicated timepiece. Some of the features of the Tour de L’lle include a perpetual calendar, a moon-phase chart, and the sunrise and sunset times. Only seven of these luxury watches were made.
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TEACHER : John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN ; You told me to do it without using tables
Notice for the meeting at the Ocean Grove Hotel, Tuesday 2nd June, 6.00 for 6.30
Speaker Thomas Kraemer Subject Stroke Awareness Chairman John Dodgshun
Attendance Officer Charles Dawborn Assistant Cashier & Thanker Rod Bush
Greeter & Assistant Sergeant Caron Zillward
Birthdays & Anniversaries Absolutely none for our members, but Socrates, the Greek philosopher, was born on 4th June 470BC, and so was Maurice Shadbolt, but 2402 years later. Who the hell was M Shadbolt, do I hear u say?
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Useful information for those undergoing Bowel Scan activities
There are seven types of stool listed on the Bristol Stool Chart medical aid, ranging from ‘separate hard lumps, like nuts’ [Type 1] to ‘entirely liquid’ [Type 7] generally unsuitable for scanning.
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Rostered duties for 2009/10
I had better give you the bad news first. You are stuck with Foxy as bully-man for Rod Greer’s year, and as a consequence, he will arrange the weekly rosters. There are 4 duties each week for a year of probably 50 meetings, but 9 members will be exempt, leaving 43 members to fill 200 weekly tasks, an average of about 5 for the year. The weekly chairman is generally matched with the speaker, and the other three duties are rostered at my discretion. The most onerous task is clearly, the meeting chairmanship, and if you don’t want that role, please quietly tell me and I will leave you off that list.
The exempt members are President, Secretary, Treasurer, Sgt. at Arms, apology taker Hans, bulletin author, programme chairman, market chairman and car raffle organizer. If any of those members want to take a turn at weekly duties, they are free to volunteer.
Of course, if you don’t like these arrangements, you can complain to President Rod.
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This day tonight [Abridged version, I am afraid, as I have some urgent commitments]
12 members were presented with First Aid Certificates by deputy President Helen.
Geoff Brentnall presented a comprehensive report on his role at the District Assembly, but most of it will have to be deferred until next week. Sufficient to say that Rotary Foundation spending has been severely curtailed due to the current financial crisis. GSE programmes will be exchanged with Brazil next year.
If you want to risk falling out of a kayak this coming Sunday, phone Noel Emselle
Eight of us correctly tipped 8 winners in round 8 of the footy tipping comp., and 9 picked 7. However, Dick Clay scored the jackpot with the correct margin of 22 points.
No sooner do they invent those fancy new curly-werly light globes, but they set up a programme to dispose of them! It’s the ‘Blinky Bulb project’
Our guest speaker didn’t arrive. Ominously, she was going to talk about the Road trauma unit.
In place of her we had two job talks – Peter Cullen, a Scot, toolmaker, long-time [29 years] Ford employee, surfer, landscaper, cricketer, tenniser etc., and Caron Zillwood, a Kiwi, fluent in French & German, MBA, greeny, resident of Arnhemland, Brisbane, Byron Bay & Nimban. Partner of Paul.
