Bulletin of the Rotary Club of Ocean Grove Inc.
www.rotaryoceangrove.blogspot.com
Vol.26 No.50
June 9, 2009
Notice for the meeting at the Zebra Bar, Tuesday 16th June, 6.00 for 6.30
Please note that the apology rules still apply – in the book, or phone Hans no later than noon Monday 15th.
Speaker Bruce Ward Subject Men’s sheds Chairman Rod Greer
Attendance Officer Phil Edwards Assistant Cashier & Thanker Judy Greer
Greeter & Assistant Sergeant Richard Trigg Birthdays tonight Geoff Ford, Jan Brentnall
22nd Geoffrey Cummins
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More Military Alert Levels.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender”. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.
It’s not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing”. Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides”. I guess that diminishes my reputation for international tolerance!
You will walk the equivalent of five times around the world in your lifetime
Number five idiot of 2008
A pair of robbers entered a bank nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted “Nobody move!”
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him! Fair dinkum!
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Q If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
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Tales of Two Cows Contributed by Rtn. R. W. Steains, PHF, who also supplied the cows. A serial in 5 parts.
Christianity You own two cows. You give one to your neighbor.
Communism You own two cows. The State takes both and throws you in prison.
Socialism You own two cows. The state takes both and gives you a little milk.
And that takes care of religion and politics for the week.
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The Rotary Club of Queenscliffe changes its venue, its meeting time and its cost – all plusses
PDG Henry Hudson has confirmed the accuracy of the notice in DG Ted Gaffney’s final newsletter, that our daughter club now meets at the Royal Hotel, King street, Queenscliff for dinner on Mondays, 7.00 for 7.30. Furthermore, they only pay $15 for two courses!
And speaking of inexpensive meals
Your editor, his proof reader, and Gerry Spencer were included in a full house at Davidson Restaurant last Friday evening for a Grand Buffet Dinner costing $35pp. Soup, six entrees, two main courses and five sweets, plus tea and coffee. Nine diners at our table paid $405 for food and wine. All small portions, but a gastronomic orgy, @ $90 for two!
The World Wide Web was born in 1991. There are now over 1,000 million internet users globally.
Notice for the meeting at the Collendina Hotel, Tuesday 23rd June, 6.00 for 6.30
Speaker & Subject TBA Chairman [For the first and last time in 2008/09] Prog. Chair Colin Brown
Attendance Officer Ian Downing Assistant Cashier & Thanker Caron Zillwood
Greeter & Assistant Sergeant John Eyles Birthdays & Anniversaries None of us.
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Number Six Idiot of 2008 [ You are all allowed to feel sorry for this poor bastard ]
This Perth guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab a slab and run…
So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window – the brick bounced back, knocking him unconscious. The window was made of Flexi-Glass and the whole event was caught on videotape!
Of Origins The unmarried girls of the house would spend most of their time spinning yarn on a spinning wheel., to make the family’s clothes. That is the origin of the word ‘Spinster’ Fair dinkum.
One Hundred years ago
Rotary was 4 years old, and club no. 3 was formed at Oakland, California. Admiral Peary discovered the North Pole after 8 tries. Radio was used for a rescue at sea for the first time. “CQD” was the call, - “SOS” came later. Bye the way, Boy Scouts was created in England back in 1903, two years before Rotary!
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Finland has 187,888 lakes and 179,584 islands
Touche
An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with other doctors. The waiting room was full. The man approached the receptionist, a large, imposing woman, who looked like a wrestler.
He gave his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said: “Yes, I see your name here. You want to see the doctor about impotence, right?”. The heads of all in the waiting room snapped around. Some giggled.
The old gent, in an equally loud voice replied: “No, I’ve come to enquire about a sex change operation, and I’d like the same doctor that did yours!”.
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A Prelude to the Hail
Our designated guest speaker was ‘butchers’, and didn’t turn up. One of our older members filled in with a brief story about mid 20th Century history.
This turn of events caused our programme chairman ‘Brownie’ to become less than gruntled, as he vowed, at the beginning of our Rotary year, not to fall back on elderly club members as speakers. Poor bugger, and he only had to last another two weeks!
Judy Greer announced that we lack a student volunteer for the Siemens Science Summer School, but she is optimistic for a candidate to take part in the ‘Adventure in Citizenship’, timed for September.
David Tyrrell’s son may be a starter for team membership of next year’s GSE team to Brazil.
Caron Zillwood reported on a very successful weekend of ART in OG, with about 60 ’acts’ performed in varying degrees of decibels.
Vic Harnath was acclaimed as one of the Rotary district’s top Secretaries, with our club acclaimed at the recent District Assembly as the second best administered club of more than 50. Pres. Elect Rod Greer also spoke enthusiastically about the Council-supported Lookout Reserve project.
Our annual ‘change-over night will be held at the Barwon Heads Golf Club on Tuesday 30th June, 6.30 for 7.00. $35 per person. Incoming President Rod requests Paul Harris Fellows to wear their medal with the short ribbon. And don’t forget your ties!
