Bulletin of the Rotary Club of Ocean Grove Inc.
Vol.26 No.49
June 2, 2009
Notice for the meeting at the Ocean Grove Hotel, Tuesday 9th June, 6.00 for 6.30
Speaker Nigel Vernon Subject Autistic Children Chairman James Turnbull
Attendance Officer Geoff Ford Assistant Cashier & Thanker Alison George
Greeter & Assistant Sergeant Dick Clay Birthdays 11th Wilma Andrews 14th Marion Walton
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The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
Notice for the meeting at the Zebra Bar, Tuesday 16th June, 6.00 for 6.30
Please note that the apology rules still apply – in the book, or phone Hans no later than noon Monday 15th.
Speaker Bruce Ward Subject Men's sheds Chairman Rod Greer
Attendance Officer Phil Edwards Assistant Cashier & Thanker Judy Greer
Greeter & Assistant Sergeant Richard Trigg Birthdays tonight Geoff Ford, Jan Brentnall
22nd Geoffrey Cummins
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When both husbands and wives should keep their mouths shut!
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. "I clocked you at 115kph, sir".
The driver says, " Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 100, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating".
Not looking up from her knitting, the wife says, " Now don't be silly John, you know this car doesn't have cruise control".
As the copper writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, " Can't you keep your mouth shut for a change?".
The wife smiles demurely and says, " You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did".
As the policeman writes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?".
The copper frowns and says, "And I notice you're not wearing a seat belt , sir. That's an automatic $100 fine".
The driver says, "yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket".
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving".
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, "why don't you shut up?'.
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, " Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Only when he's been drinking" Contributed by Geoff Neilson, but not from personal experience.
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Village inspires GSE team
When a Group Study Exchange team from District 5130, California visited District 9110 in Nigeria, team members spent a day in Ijado, a prospective 'Adopt a Village' project site. They learned that the village lacked a health clinic, that villagers fetched water several times a day, and that fewer than 10% of the adults could read or write.
"What we brought back is passion", says Susan Cole, team leader and member of the Rotary club of Windsor, California. "I can't tell you how moving it was to be there and talk to the women of the village. It's personal. It's not just a project. It's a connection".
President-elect Rod admits to having a perverse sense of humor, and a brother-in-law in defence.
The B-I-L has submitted a series of Military Alert levels
I am going to give you the British version tonight, and the French, Italian, German, Belgian, American, New Zealand and Aussie versions will follow over the next three weeks.
The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from 'Miffed' to 'Peeved'. Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to 'Irritated', or even 'A Bit Cross'. Brits have not been 'A Bit Cross' since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from 'Tiresome' to a 'Bloody Nuisance'. The last time the British issued a 'Bloody Nuisance' warning level was during the great fire of London in 1666. Fair dinkum.
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Number Four Idiot of 2008
A fella' walked into a corner store with a shotgun and demanded the contents of the cash register. After the shop attendant put the cash in a bag, the robber spotted a bottle of Scotch, and demanded it to be put in the bag as well.
The shop attendant refused, saying, "I don't believe you are over 18". The robber said he was, but the attendant still refused, where-upon the robber produced his driver's licence. The silly bugger got his Scotch, and the police arrived at his home a couple of hours later, the alert attendant having passed on the robber's name and address from the licence.
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The Late Frank Mountford remembered
Frank was a charter member of our club, second President in 1984/85, a Paul Harris Fellow, and one of the most loved and highly respected members in our 25 years of Rotary service. He became a charter member of the Rotary club of Queenscliffe in 2006, and that club has seen fit to perpetuate his name by sponsoring the 'Frank Mountford Literacy Award', open to district primary school children. The children are invited to submit an essay of no more than 400 words – "What I like about living on the Bellarine Peninsular", and will form part of the Borough of Queenscliff's annual 'Sea of Words' event. Prizes are $300 for 1st, $150 for 2nd and $50 for 3rd, plus encouragement awards. Well done, Rotary club of Queenscliffe.
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Notice Board
JC reminded us that the change-over night is at the Barwon Heads Golf Club on 30th June, 6.30 for 7.00. Gentlemen are required to wear a tie. With ladies, it is optional.
If you would like to go to the Solomon Islands for a Rotary work programme in July, contact JC.
Southampton [Can] RC is contributing $1000 towards the Vic Bushfire appeal in company with us.
Judy Greer is working with RC Drysdale to find candidates for the January Summer Science school.
Our Ocean Grove Pioneer Park project is before COGG for consideration. They are procrastinating.
Caron Zillward urges our involvement in the local Arts weekend, next Fri. to Mon. incl. at The Chicken Shop, Zebra Bar, Bar Delly and Nectar Bar.
The Board meeting is deferred until the evening of Monday 15th June.
The Geelong Hospital Appeal this weekend
Alternate guest speaker tonight was Geelong RC member Gavin Seidel, executive director, Barwon Health Foundation. The annual appeal was run by United Way until 2002, but they now do their own thing, and rightly so considering the Geelong Hospital is the 3rd busiest in Victoria and the 8th in Australia.
Employing 6000 people, [largest employer locally], the Hospital services embrace not only the Hospital, but also, Community Health Centres, The McKellar Centre and the Andrew Love Cancer Centre. Barwon Health's sphere of influence extends to Portland, Ballarat, Hamilton, and all points between. The fundraising priority this year is a new operating theatre, but Gavin spoke enthusiastically about the need for a new children's ward. The need for these and other services is never-ending. This year's target - $2M. Dig deep: it's our hospital and our health services.
